The Tales of Underland
by Johnny Infekt
Summary: A series of short, annoying, and repetitive stories of the land they called "Underland"


**A.N. ~ This is an annoying story. It's definitely very repetitive, and this is just one short, annoying story. So yes, you have been.....WARNED!!!! *please insert dramatic music here***

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The cat, the cat knew. That odd cat, with the teal stripes, knew. That cat knew that the hat, yes _THE_ hat, wanted it. Ahh yes, that hat wanted it good. Oh boy did that hat want it, from the cat, of course. It was only logical that the cat and the hat wanted each other, badly.

The problem, oh yes, _THE_ problem was that bizarre red-head. The maniac moron who maliciously maintained clasp on the hat with his eternal……madness? Now the cat was planning, a plan-y plan plan it was. The cat was planning, a good plan, yes? To take the hat from the mad man.

It all started when she came back, yes she. It was her, the one everyone had been searching for. It was…Alice. Her name, yes, was Alice. Although, something was different, she was older, taller, and not as fun spirited. Most of all however, she did not remember anything, not even the fiery red head with the beautifully decorated hat.

This girl, sparked a fire in the cold cat's heart, figuratively speaking, since this cat had no such heart. Only the love for that hat. With the girl, he could lead her to the one they called the "Mad Hatter", he was the one, the one who held that cat's love, hostage.

As soon as she came however, she went, leaving the cat in the midst of the forest, thinking, planning, longing. That poor cat, he lost dear Alice, but soon after conversing with that oddly wise sapphire caterpillar, who was, one day, going to contract lung cancer from that smoking, he knew where Alice was.

After watching her stumble her way through the forest, and arriving at a fork in the road, he appeared, surprising her, of course, that was Alice's normal reaction. Hadn't anyone seen an evaporating cat before? After a quick, minuscule introduction, that led virtually nowhere, the cat began directing Alice to the Hatter's.

Invisible, he was, the cat evaporated, waiting for the right moment to join in the "Tea Party" with that cocaine addicted rabbit, the Mad Hatter, Alice, and…the hat. Appearing in a chair, with a cup of tea, that seemed to have some sort of drug mixed in, or maybe with just a high amount of caffeine in it, the cat spotted his target. The precious hat, the hat that meant the world to that evaporating cat with the oddly large grin.

While the Mad Hatter with his red hair and his green eyes was busy talking wildly to the girl, Alice, and the odd rabbit, who looked like he'd been on a bad drug trip for days, and not to mention looked in need of a shower, was busy talking to himself, the cat with the teal stripes and the calmly creepy voice began his plan.

Now that the Mad Hatter was so shaken up by Alice's return the cat could simply evaporate and take the hat. Now, this plan would've worked if it weren't for the dreadful Red Queen's henchmen and the bloody bloodhound finding their way to them, tracking Alice's scent to the party. The cat quickly disappeared, wanting no drama with the men that had arrived, which ended up helping the cat greatly in getting his love.

You see, because the cat had quickly vanished, and the tea cup he had once held, fell to the rotten wooden chair in which he once sat in. This made the drugged up rabbit stir from his chair, causing a ruckus in the search for the girl, Alice, whom the Mad Hatter had given an odd potion that made her shrink. Now, the cat briefly suspected some foul play in that, for he knew the Mad Hatter was a pedophile, and shrinking Alice, would give him all the more advantage to rape-or uhh…do bad things to that Alice. It was no time for that sort of thinking though, since the rabbit's commotion made the Mad Hatter frantic, so frantic that his hysterical self jumped up trying to keep the rabbit from saying something, something that would tick off the men, the men who were looking for Alice mind you, the same Alice that the Mad Hatter had shrunk, and was most likely going to rape by the end of this fan fiction.

Back to the point now, since the Mad Hatter had jumped from his chair, his beautiful hat, the same beautiful hat the cat had come to fancy, had fallen. The hat decorated oh so beautifully, fell to the ground, the dirty dirty ground, and off of that moron's head. It was the perfect chance for the crazy cat to take the hat.

So the cat did what he had to do, he took that hat while the Hatter and the Rabbit were taken into custody, under the suspicion of hiding Alice. Which they were, thought the cat happily as he fled as far away as he could with the hat. The cat and his hat fled so far that he had reached a point, an unfamiliar point, in which he sat down by a big tree, with a rather large hole next to it. The cat could not remember this place, but decided to just not think about it and cuddle with his beautiful hat. The hat he had adored for so long, and was finally his. He cuddled and sweet talked that hat for what seemed like forever, that is until the strangest moment happened for that cat and his beloved hat.

For you see, it wasn't the cat who had done a disappearing act, it was the hat. It was the mysterious hat, that slowly drifted into the mysterious hole that held the upside-down room with the growing cake, the shrinking drink, and that eccentric white rabbit with that pocket watch.


End file.
